Holy Week.

Let me be real. I failed at Lent. I not only caved on my no sugar/sweeteners commitment, but I was also supposed to be reading Isaiah with a dear friend and sharing notes and thoughts on Facebook with her, but have gone totally AWOL in that department too. I used to use this phase with students on special occasions, but seriously Wynder: Sucks to suck.

Now Lent is not over; here I am finding myself in in the week of preparation for the biggest, most significant event in Christianity - in history! - and even though I utterly failed God in the self-denial department (I have a huge sack of mini eggs on the counter), I have found he is no further away. Sometimes I get blown away (again and again actually) when I get into a space where I feel like I am not living up to my end of the faith bargain, to find the closeness and faithfulness of God does not, in fact, have anything to do with me. Weird. Don't get me wrong, you theological sticklers,  I am not saying I cannot move myself or my heart to a place of hardness and unfaithfulness. I can, and unfortunately do. What I'm saying is that no matter where I position myself, it has no bearing on the character of God - which is grace and mercy (and so much more my tiny brains cannot comprehend).

So even with the residue of Cadbury milk chocolate still on my tongue, with a repentant heart, and in earnest humility, I can still come and sit at the feet of my Lord, with my tears for anointing and my messy hair as a towel. He is so close by. I only need to turn my eyes from myself, and look at His face instead. No words are necessary. There is quite, and that is where He is asking me to dwell.

Why have I gone through a week of tears and exhaustion and frustration instead of sitting silently at the feet of Jesus?

Do I really get so easily distracted by me? When I clearly have lived this lesson over and over and over? Why won't I learn already?

I don't know about you, but I find this whole dying to self thing REALLY FREAKING HARD.

So, while I take some time with Jesus, and try to walk through this week with Him, how about you? How is your Lenten journey wrapping up? Do you have a story to share?  An insight for me? Let's walk this out together!

Peace.