My hair and my complex

Today I feel like I have a Complex. All I really wanted to accomplish today was a trip to the grocery store. But, we slept in (Thank the LORD). And nap time didn't happen until after noon - and didn't end until 3:30 (thank the LORD), so that means I am way behind on the day. Although I got a very small amount of unexpected cleaning done. Meaning, the garbage got taken out. But that is basically all. I have half heatedly started making the cabbage rolls I promised Mark for supper, but since I haven't been  to the store, well, they won't be done for tonight, that is for sure.

And really I only have myself to blame for the lack of time and the complex. And maybe the internet. I am getting a complex from the internet. You see, I am, at heart, a hippy dippy child. I like to do things the hard way, usually by hand; and that, I am sure, qualifies me for a hippy. But the internet. Oh you internet - full of blogs of people with so many hippy dippy ideas and recipes. I should have been a homesteader, because at least then there would be limited amounts of information for me to get lost in and I could actually legitimately do everything by hand and toil, toil, toil all the day long.

You see, today, I was consumed by my desperate need for a shower and to wash my hair, but listen to me. I couldn't. Here is the complex. I have been thinking about trying to be more natural with my soaps and hair care products, and I nearly have all the things I need to make my own soap/shampoo. And yet, I also feel like I have been fighting the lifelong struggle of an itchy/flaky scalp. Maybe not lifelong. Maybe only for a month or so. But it is maddening! And since I've been trying the alternative methods, the shampoo bars, the herbal things from the health food stores, my hair has felt so gunky. I hate to touch it. Which works out because I only comb it like once every three days anyway. But back to the story. I got stuck looking online at alternatives to washing my hair. I looked at the baking soda/apple cider vinegar method; the pH balanced alternatives. And before I knew it... AAAAAGGGGHHHHH! I was in an immobilized panic about how to properly care for my hair, the environment, accomplish my daily tasks and somehow get into the shower with the added difficulty of a six month old! And all the while my scalp is itching and flaking and my hair is covered in some kind of wax or crud from the bar shampoo I've been using the last few weeks, the day is ticking incessantly by and then.... I was too overwhelmed. I didn't want to deal with transition periods, or any of the struggle of trying to be non toxic and crunchy and live the difficult, homemade life. So I used the Head & Shoulders, guys. I cracked under pressure. Or maybe I just realized that at this moment in time, this day, in this season as a new mom who is trying to set up a new house in a new town with no friends (this is something I am becoming acutely aware of, but it's another story for another time) that if I use some store bought, toxic Head and Shoulders, the stuff my dad has used all his life, the world would keep spinning. And MY world would actually spin a little smoother. And you guys, my hair and scalp feel amazing!